The Crossroads of America

30 12 2008

The Alligator Snapping Turtle is an impressive beast. It’s easily one of the largest freshwater turtles in the world, yet it blends in incredibly well into its environment. The largest one on record is actually in Chicago’s Brookfield Zoo, and weighs some 230 lbs. The truly marvelous aspect of this beast is that is possesses a little lure on its tongue that looks just like a worm. It holds its mouth open in the water, and when a fish approaches, the turtle’s mouth snaps shut, killing its prey.

There is this familiarity to how home feels so foreign to me. I think I’m getting used to it. In those long days leading up to coming back for these 3 weeks, I had many thoughts on what would happen and what it would be like. I’ve been right for the most part. Dealing with family is always very stressful. It always seems that no matter what you do, you can’t make everyone happy and someone’s upset and taking it out on you. Of course, no matter what, the events of the past 2 years are brought up, and it seems no one can move on. It’s like the hourglass is stuck, and I just keep getting sucked back to those moments when I come home. Who needs a DeLorean t go back in time, anyway?

I’ve been thinking a lot about Summer, too. I know that I don’t want to come home. I’d much rather spend my summer working a camp, or get a job, or pretty much anything else.  Something, somewhere else. I don’t really care. But, at the same time, I’m scared. A year ago, I had the same thoughts. I didn’t want to come home last summer, and yet, I did. It was easier to do that, because I didn’t have to take a risk in going somewhere else. Last summer wasn’t awful. I really enjoyed doing West Side Story, and it kept me out of the house a lot. Still…it wasn’t what I wanted to be doing. I can’t, and won’t do that this year.

I had lots more to say, but I’ve forgotten it. This has become much more of a rant, anyway, which is what I don’t like doing. I always want to write something profound and deep, but I don’t think it ever comes across like that.

Have you ever tried to think about thinking? Sometimes I do this on accident. I am trying to think about something or remember something, and then I consciously think about it. It’s impossible to do this.

I listen to this station I made on Pandora a lot. Especially when I am writing here. Check it out here:

http://pandora.com/stations/5572b6fd217a608046b287f147924a123a5582c0cdf59754

Also, I found this greatly amusing:

M&M Fight Club

M&M Fight Club





Home

11 12 2008

I’ll be home for Winter Break one week from today.

Cosequently, to prevent my visit from being complete Hell and a waste of my time, I’m asking you to let me know if you’ll be in town and want to do something, even if it’s just once. I quickly run out of things to do if I don’t have people to see, and if I don’t have things to do or people to see, home gets a lot worse for me.  I really want to see anyone and everyone, because I miss home (Home, being the place I knew when I was in high school). Anyway, let me know if you want to do something. It would mean a lot. Thanks.