4 11 2008

I’m feeling so nostalgic tonight. I’ve been thinking a lot about home, high school, old friends, and lots of other things. I’m at this point where I completely and fully accept that the people I knew in high school are so different now, and we are all so very far apart. Maybe I feel like this because I don’t see any of them anymore, maybe it’s because I’m so far away from it all, or maybe it’s because even in high school, I was only really close to a very limited few of them. I see people’s profile pics on Facebook, and it’s like looking at the same person, but realizing that you don’t really know them anymore. They are just a shell of what you used to know. I keep thinking about how I would like to just experience one day of Kasper’s class again, and remember how I felt to be on the brink of something big; to feel so much hope and promise for the future. Just waiting to get out of high school and be really free from there. I miss feeling so naive about everything. I miss certain people a lot. I wonder sometimes what it would be like if I randomly ran into someone at Martin’s or somewhere like that right now, and what we would say to each other. I don’t know…some people I think I would just ignore, and others I think I would just say Hi. How strange and funny all at once.

So much has happened since then. I had so much frustration and pain, and I didn’t know what to do with all those emotions. My parents divorce has really been a defining moment for me, too. I think the way I dealt with that when I did, and how I would have dealt with that in the past is such a measuring stick of how much I really have grown in these few years. It would have been so easy and rational to react the way my brothers did, but it wouldn’t have been right in the long run.

I confess, though, that I am anxious to get home for those few short days at the end of this month. For what, I can’t really say. Maybe I just miss my dog. I hardly think that’s the reason though. I’m just not sure. It will just be nice to go somewhere somewhat familiar to me, and experience the wonderful Fall weather. I just miss experiencing all 4 seasons.

I feel like we are really on the brink, now. The news anchors keep saying this is a defining point in American history, and I honestly am starting to believe them. I think there are a lot of possible futures that will be narrowed down tomorrow/today. Lots of interesting things that could happen.

Regardless of what happens, I really do believe we’ll be OK. God’s not going to let us all go to Hell in a hand basket because of one election.

Thanks for reading. Take care, and have safe travels.

I’ve fallen in love with these songs. They really show where I am right now, I think.

There aren’t video’s on YouTube for these, but check them out anyway:

The Microphones: I Felt Your Shape

Sufjan Stevens: Chicago

Neutral Milk Hotel: The King of Carrot Flowers

Anything from Jose Gonzalez. What a brilliant artist.




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